I’m lost

I’m lost. Lost in myself. I just recently met with a man who explained a verse in Genesis to me in an incredibly eye opening way. “7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.” Right here, the “moment” mentioned is the very moment that Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. And immediately, their eyes were opened. Yet right after this Adam and Eve aren’t allowed to see God anymore. This man called it a “Hebrew irony”. He then went on to say that their eyes were indeed opened, yet they were turned away from God and instead towards themselves. Forever, naval gazing. This, this tears me apart. Oh how my eyes are so adhered to my every being and doing. All for my approval, for my pleasure. This, this tears me apart. I hate myself for it. I’m ashamed of myself for it. God, God. You have redeemed my eyes. For You have shown me the Father. May I never take my eyes off of him. Off of You.